Being in the Moment Can Improve Your Health & Relationships
Dr. Raymond Singer is the Chief of Cardiac Surgery at Jefferson Einstein Montgomery Hospital, in East Norriton, Pennsylvania. He is also a Clinical Professor of Surgery at the Sidney Kimmel Medical College at Thomas Jefferson University. He is a member of the Heart and Vascular Institute of Thomas Jefferson University Hospital,... more
It’s that time of year when we are either making resolutions or have already begun breaking them. Gym memberships will come and go. Diets will forever be a challenge in a world full of fast food. Even being a “better person” has its limits as soon as we find ourselves caught in traffic and late for work.
But there is one thing that we can do that will truly make a difference in our lives. That one thing is simply “being in the moment.” It will make a difference in our health as well as in our relationships. Moreover, it will enhance our success at home, at work, or school.
Are you in the moment right now? Are you completely focused on these words or is your mind distracted, thinking of 10 different things that you need to do today? Have you recently read a paragraph in a book and realized that you can’t recall a single sentence or thought? Do you find yourself drifting off when people are talking to you? Most of all, do you find yourself consumed by worry and guilt?
Worry and guilt. Most of us spend a lot of time worrying about the future. Perhaps we are concerned about an important upcoming event or a challenging time ahead at work, a possible promotion, or perhaps the consequences of an illness or death in the family. We also spend a lot of time regretting the past, feeling guilty for our mistakes and missed opportunities, saddened by the words we said, or didn’t say. While life is full of challenges and demands, the question is whether we are consumed by these distractions and fears or are we able to focus on the immediate important tasks at hand.
Ironically, worrying about the future and feeling guilty about the past are the only two things that we can do absolutely nothing about. It is truly a waste of precious energy. For all of the useless anxiety that we invest in tomorrow and yesterday, there is no way of changing either. No matter how much we worry about tomorrow, it will come. And no matter how much we fret about the past; we cannot undo what is done.
Further, excessive worrying and feelings of extreme guilt can directly harm our health. Both can impact our sleep and our ability to focus. Eating disorders are commonly associated with chronic stress, as are smoking, alcohol, and drugs. Studies have shown that a state of constant vigilance leads the body to produce excessive amounts of adrenalin which can directly damage heart muscle, leading to arrhythmias and heart failure. There is even a condition known as “stress-induced cardiomyopathy” for which the heart balloons out and can no longer function, giving credence to the notion of “being scared to death.”
Our success in our families, at work, or in school, also depends on our ability to be in the moment. As a heart surgeon, every moment of every operation counts. There can be no exception. To save a person’s life, it is imperative to block out all distractions and to always have one’s head in the game.
Most of all, being in the moment can improve our relationships, be it with our spouse, our kids, or coworkers. A modern-day disturbing phenomenon is having someone looking at his or her cell phone while you are trying to have a face-to-face conversation. At meetings, we are all miffed by colleagues who check their email and Facebook instead of paying attention to the work that needs to get done. Trust me, people notice. Wouldn’t we all be much better off putting down our phones and taking the time to look and listen? Making people feel like they are the most important individuals in the room will increase the chance of them feeling the same about us.
Being in the moment is often referred to as mindfulness –being mindfully aware of what is going on right here and now. No doubt, we must always reflect on our past and prepare thoughtfully for the future. But imagine what a difference we could make in our lives –right now—if we simply let go of fear, worry, and guilt, immerse ourselves in the moment, and enjoy being present to those whom we encounter. Now that’s a resolution worth keeping!
