Solo Caregiving: A Guide for Only Children
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According to recent Census Bureau data, the trend of having smaller families is on the rise. In 2022, 19% of American women aged 40-44 had only one child, nearly double the percentage from 1976. This shift means that many individuals are navigating the complex world of caregiving alone.
Joy Loverde, an eldercare consultant and author of The Complete Eldercare Planner, notes, “Only children are showing up left and right asking me about these issues. Everything is on the line for them, especially their own careers and financial stability.”
If you find yourself in a similar position, here are four essential strategies from Reuters to help you prepare and manage the demands of being the sole caregiver for your aging parent.
1. Start Planning Early
Preparation is key when you are the only one responsible for your parent's care. Michael Hausknost started planning for his mother’s future 20 years ago, recognizing the longevity in his family and the financial constraints his mother would face.
Early planning involves understanding your parent's health and financial situation, and anticipating the costs associated with their care. Assisted living and memory care facilities can be expensive, with costs often exceeding $6,000 a month.
Action Step: Begin financial planning as soon as possible. Assess your parent’s assets, savings, and potential income sources like Social Security or pensions. Consult with a financial advisor to create a sustainable plan that considers both current and future care needs.
2. Avoid Draining Your Own Savings
It’s natural to want to support your parent financially, but it's crucial to avoid compromising your own financial security. Joy Loverde advises against using your personal savings to fund your parent's care, as this could disqualify them from state and federal assistance programs.
Instead, explore using your parent's resources first. This might include tapping into their savings, utilizing long-term care insurance, or considering options like selling their home, taking out a home equity loan, or a reverse mortgage.
Action Step: Inventory your parent’s financial assets and explore all available options before dipping into your own funds. Seek advice from a financial planner to navigate these decisions wisely.
3. Maintain Your Own Career
While it may seem appealing to leave your job to provide full-time care, doing so can have significant long-term consequences. Re-entering the workforce later in life can be challenging, and stepping away from your career can impact your financial stability and retirement plans.
Instead, try to balance caregiving with your professional life. Many employers offer benefits like eldercare assistance, flexible schedules, and family leave, which can be invaluable resources.
Action Step: Have a conversation with your employer about the support they can offer as you navigate your caregiving responsibilities. Explore all available workplace benefits that can help you manage your dual roles effectively.
4. Seek Support
Being an only child does not mean you have to handle everything alone. Reach out to friends, extended family, an aging parent coach (hi!) or community members who can provide support, whether it's through financial assistance or simply offering their time.
Additionally, professional help can ease the burden. A financial planner can guide you through managing your parent’s finances, while an estate lawyer can help with essential documents like power of attorney or healthcare proxies. Support groups and community resources can also provide emotional support and practical advice.
Action Step: Build a network of support. Identify people in your life who can help, and don't hesitate to seek professional advice. Join caregiver support groups to connect with others facing similar challenges.
