Dr. S. Faye Snyder

I never thought that autism was mostly men. However, I also don't believe its genetic. I have given consideration to some of the alleged causes such as vaccinations. Maybe that. Maybe its a toxin relatively new to humanity. However, I have had several clients (children) who were neglected in the first year or two of life during a critical period. Sometimes it was a mother who returned to work. Sometimes it was an aloof mother. Sometimes it was a mother who was hospitalized or who had postpartum depression. These mothers kept their secret like they were guarding Ft. Knox, but eventually with enough safety they each revealed their secret to me. So, I also believe autism can be caused by two parents working, which is a new development in our society and in the history of humankind. Autism is appearing at such a rate it would have to be more teratogen than genes, as it appears to be almost epidemic. Further, genetic developments tend to offer improvements not problems. Has autism been under-diagnosed, as some authorities say, and now that it is more recognized we only think it is epidemic. I can say this: In my childhood I didn't know an autistic child. (I'm 72 now.) Now I know a number of people who have children on the spectrum.

I find that if I answer my thoughts in writing and even plan solutions, I can finally sleep.

There's a lot to this question. Primarily you are guaranteed confidentiality, and if you find out that this doctor has shared your confidential information without consideration of your privacy, you may have a lawsuit. You can report him or her to their board, as well. However, we are trained in keeping information to ourselves. There are a few exceptions to consider. If you reveal you want to kill someone or harm them, we are mandated to report to that party to take cover. If you report child abuse, we are mandated to get protection for the child. The same applies to elder abuse and disabled and dependent persons.

I have my own caveat. If a patient worries about confidentiality I begin to wonder why. That doesn't mean I'm going to talk about you, but it does present a red flag to me. Are you living your life underground keeping secrets that are harming you. We all deserve an authentic life, in which we can live openly. Some of us have nothing to hide, but think that their normal process and failures stigmatizes them and they should appear perfect to the world. Some of us don't know how to make mistakes and be proud of what we learned or how we handled them. Living life secretly can be a way of avoiding natural consequences for our choices. It can be a way of living a dishonest life. Some of us want to keep secret the bad things that happened to us, for which we were innocent. These things should not stigmatize us. There is a high price for living secretively, and usually there is something wrong beneath. Good therapy will help you strategize your life so you are free to be an open person, unless that is not practical.

Lastly, believe it or not, unless this therapist knows people you know, no one cares. I like to remind myself that I am just not that interesting. Maybe your case is interesting, but we don't have a need to talk about you to others, and if we did, we would make up a name and even identifying characteristics, just to have the freedom to consult or to teach. We don't need to gossip. If we gossip, we should lose our license or have to go to therapy ourselves until we become safe.