What to Expect When Significant Others Have Lupus

Love, care and dedication are some of the most important things that can help to increase the quality of life of those suffering from the lupus, and while many may want to believe that nothing really changes when a lover is diagnosed with lupus, it is important to highlight the many aspects of the condition and how proper understanding can help in becoming a more practical, caring and overall better lover.

Lupus is a serious autoimmune condition that is accompanied by many debilitating effects to the body and mind of the patient. And while the disease often manifests in only one partner, it’s safe to say that the heartbreaking feeling is shared by friends, families and loved ones.

As heartbreaking it can be, many couples strive to make the best out of their relationship. However, three factors are highly important when being in a relationship with a significant other that has lupus: Compassion, patience, and, most importantly, maturity. While these three factors sound simple on the surface, they can prove very difficult to keep up with. 

Here is a list of what-to-expect and what-to-do when your loved one has lupus. Even though it may be hard, or frustrating to understand what they are going through at first, it's also important to compromise and remember that your significant other has a serious, as well as unpredictable, autoimmune disease.

Expect to cancel many plans

One of the most devastating attributes of an autoimmune disease is the inability to ascertain when it may manifest. When living with a lover with lupus, be prepared to compromise and understand that plans may need to be canceled and rescheduled due to a flare of their symptoms. In the simplest form of love, lend understanding and weigh-in on the fact that your significant other will be just as disappointed, if not more, about the cancellation. As health comes first, be sure to never force your loved one out against their wishes especially in times where they have explained that they don’t feel well or when symptoms are apparent.

Finally, understand that the whole day doesn’t have to be lost and with one or two acts of thoughtfulness, you may still enjoy a great time. For instance, if you initially planned to go to the movies to catch the latest rom-com or action-packed thriller, but can’t make it for one reason or another, you can always engage your loved one in a movie or the latest episodes of a TV show from your couch, using Netflix or Hulu. Or, maybe have a relaxing night in with soft music and a nice home-cooked meal. Bear in mind that a lot of people with lupus may be in the hospital for most of their lives, so if you have an opportunity where your lover can be home with you, try to go with the flow and take what comes day by day rather than get upset and lose significant time.