Amy Schumer's Shares How Multiple Sclerosis Rocked Her Family

Amy Schumer is one of America’s favorite comedy actresses, but it is not all fun and games off camera.

Amy has come out a couple times, through her book and through social media, to share a bit about her experience having a parent with multiple sclerosis (MS).

As adult children, we usually reach a point where we recognize that eventually the caretaker role is going to shift from our parents to us. Typically, this is thought of as being far off and something that we will have to deal with when we are much older. For children who have a parent with a chronic disease, this changes everything.

Her dad’s diagnosis

Depending on how old the child is when the parent is diagnosed, they may spend most of their life coping with the challenges that having a parent with a chronic disease can bring. For Amy, her dad was diagnosed with MS when she was only 12-years-old. When her dad Gordon was diagnosed, Amy recalls feeling confused about how the disease works. She says that she recognized that he was in physical pain and that is when she started using her humor to keep her family laughing. As a child she said that she took on the role of caring for everyone in the family. When your parent has a chronic disease, this shift to caretaker can come a bit prematurely.

While having a child become a caretaker is not something that most families want to happen when a parent is diagnosed with a chronic disease, this often occurs naturally. For children, falling into the role of caretaker can be a natural way to cope with and handle a situation that is confusing and scary. When you see the ones you love suffer, it is only normal to want to change that. Children will mimic what they have experienced other family members do for them, and thus they become little caretakers. While this role change may be unavoidable, family members can still work together to ensure that the child is still experiencing childhood and not taking on the role of being a parent too much.

Making time for the parent to be the parent, even if it is something simple such as helping with homework, or teaching the child how to cook something can help keep those roles in place. This also provides a way for children and parents to bond without too much strenuous activity.

Every day is different

Recently Amy posted a video on Instagram that shows followers what it is like when your parent with MS has a good day. Ultimately, it is bittersweet. The video shows how with the help of an assistive device Gordon stands next to Amy for the first time in a while. The song that is playing in the background? It is called “Aime” by Pure Prairie League. It is her Dad’s favorite and what her parents named Amy after. In her book “The Girl With the Lower Back Tattoo,” Amy also opened up about her dad’s health and when she did an interview in People magazine in 2015 regarding her movie “Trainwreck,” she talks about how every day can be different with her dad. She says that some days are really good, and he is awake and joking around, while others he is in a lot of pain, and those are more difficult for her to watch.

What is it like for parents who have a chronic disease?

It is safe to say that when there is someone in a family with a chronic disease, it is hard on everyone. For parents who have to watch their children take on more than any child should have to, this can make coping with disease even harder.
When you are a parent who has a chronic disease, and you watch your child take on that role of caretaker long before his or her time, or you understand your limited ability to actively engage with them in a way that you both would like to, it can be heartbreaking and leave you feeling hopeless. When the Mighty community was asked about their experiences parenting with MS, there was one huge common theme. That while watching a child cope with having a parent who has a chronic condition is incredibly tough, it is the children that keep the parents going. When they are having a bad day, the parents that were polled for information consistently said that their kids are what made them get up in the morning and continue to fight. Sometimes this means that they may only have the strength to get out of bed, and nothing more, but still they carry on. It is definitely a positive and a negative rolled into one.

One mother highlights that while her children are what keep her fighting, they are also a constant reminder that she will never be able to be the active mother that she wants to be. While it is never the life that a parent envisions their child having in their younger years, one mother also emphasizes that she thinks her having MS has helped her boys grow into some of the most caring young men she knows. Additionally, while no parent wants their child to become a caretaker before his or her time, it can be really sweet to watch how they care for their sick parent. Another mother says that it is endearing and heartwarming to watch her child bring her pillows and blankets or their stuffed animal when she is in pain.

Effects on the whole family

The reality is that having a parent with a chronic disease is hard on the whole family. It changes the roles of each family member and can simultaneously strengthen and test bonds. It can bring families together in unexpected ways during dark times. When there is one parent in a family who has a chronic disease, everyone has to adjust their role in the family in some capacity. Sometimes this is done consciously, and other times it is done without thinking.

When celebrities such as Amy Schumer reveal their own personal struggles with things such as MS, it not only reminds us all that they are human too, but can also inspire hope, just like celebrities inspire so much else with the general public.

By coming forward about things that are a bit closer to home, Amy has made herself even more relatable, and like being a part of a support group, she is offering encouragement and compassion to the MS community. Whether or not she is doing it consciously, she is also raising awareness about MS. People admire celebrities and get an enormous amount of information from the media. When famous people use their power to openly discuss real issues, they are bringing those issues into the public eye. This can incentivize people to look up MS and talk to their friends about it. It can also help people who are affected by MS to not feel so alone.

If you are a parent with MS, remember that you are not alone. Look to your other family members to help you and your children through this process. Additionally, there are numerous support groups that can help you connect with other parents who may be in similar situations.