Man Surprises Girlfriend Suffering from Lupus with a Proposal and Marriage the Same Day

Getting engaged and getting married are two of the biggest life-changing chapters in any person's life. But, for Nicole Carfagna, a woman who has been diagnosed with lupus, these two important events happened in one night all because of the careful planning and dedication of her then boyfriend, now husband, Danny Rios.  

The groom didn’t want his bride to be stressed about their wedding, especially since Nicole has been struggling with the symptoms of lupus. According to Rios, he already knew for quite some time that Nicole was going to be his bride. So, he wanted to make it special because that is what Nicole deserves. He spent approximately 5 months planning their wedding, of which Nicole knew nothing about.

On the other hand, Nicole did not expect Rios to do it since he gave her surprise birthday trip to Disneyland, and they have already discussed not to get engaged for a year, at least. She also said that Rios also bought a house just recently. So, being engaged and married was not something she expected any time soon.

When the story was posted, it went viral. And, it has inspired many people who are just like Nicole, struggling with lupus and chronic pain. Since then, the couple has also received a lot of messages and calls from others who are looking to share their story. The couple also wanted to let other people know that even if a person has lupus, they can still have their happily ever after with the person that they love.

The proposal of a lifetime

After returning home from their Disney trip on December 8, Rios proposed to Nicole, and she said yes immediately. Initially, after seeing the lights in the backyard, she thought that it was just a surprise birthday party for her. But, little did she know that she would become a married woman that day.

After that, Nicole was brought inside privately where the guests thought that it was a party to celebrate their engagement. Then, she saw a suit and dress hanging behind her when he asked her to turn around. She was then asked if she wanted to get married right at the moment, especially since their family and friends are already there, and she said yes straight away. They were engaged for less than 2 hours.

Although the wedding was a surprise, everything was well-prepared and there was no pressure on Nicole to say yes. In fact, Nicole shared how Rios kept telling her to carefully think about it and make sure that it was what she wanted. If not, then Rios was willing to prepare for their wedding together. However, this wasn't the case as Nicole was all ready to marry him right then and there. She also did not want to stress over the wedding since she knew that it will worsen her lupus symptoms.

Rios also already knew that Nicole was okay with a backyard wedding because she stated to him about how she wanted to have guests for an engagement party and then surprise them with a wedding. On the other hand, the wedding bands and the engagement rings were chosen by Rios himself. As for Nicole’s wedding dress, he asked her mother's help in picking it out. Before leaving for their trip, Rios also gave out instructions to his parents on how they should prepare the house. He had it all listed down. Also, Rios’ dad was the one who officiated their wedding.

Living in pain with lupus

Rios shared how Nicole suffers from pain and how she lives with it. However, despite the pain that she was feeling, she never lost the smile on her face. He falls in love with her every time he sees her smiling at him. He is also thankful for the fact that he is able to make her smile, regardless of the pain that she is feeling. On the other hand, Nicole described Rios as a selfless and genuine man who has stood by her, especially during the times when her health is worsening.

For people who know someone who is suffering from lupus, it is important to try to be understanding of the pain their loved one is experiencing. After all, pain may lead to them experiencing difficulty in fulfilling their day-to-day duties and activities. Also, it has been said that about 90% of patients will have synovitis or arthritis at some point during their battle with lupus.

What makes lupus arthritis different from rheumatoid arthritis is that it affects the joints in a symmetric distribution. It is also less severe. In most cases, its symptoms will only last for a few days and the joints affected are the ones furthest from the center of the body like the wrist, knees, and toes. It also comes together with the feeling of stiffness upon waking up in the morning, but then, it gets better throughout the day.

Aside from joint pain, lupus patients also often experience pain in their muscles. In fact, about 50-80% of patients have complained about suffering from myalgia. There are also times when the pain is accompanied by weakness in the muscles. Often, joint pain is managed through physical therapy and joint rest, together with the intake of anti-inflammatory medications. However, in severe cases, surgery may be needed.

There are actually some remedies that lupus patients can try out in their home to help provide relief from joint and muscle pain due to lupus. For example, they can use heating pads or they can go for a warm shower, which can also help reduce stiffness. In case it didn’t work for them, then they can also try using ice packs to ease inflammation in the affected area. It would also be useful to elevate the legs whenever they are pain or buy anti-inflammatory drugs over the counter when it's necessary.

People who have been diagnosed with lupus often experience stress and depression, especially since it still has no cure and patients may need to deal with it for as long as they live. In addition to that, there are also some medications that can make them more emotional.

When a person with lupus is under stress, they are likely to suffer from insomnia or other sleep disorders. They are also likely to have panic attacks, constipation, and headache. It also causes fatigue and affects one’s concentration. More than anything else, stress may trigger lupus flare-ups, where the symptoms of lupus, including muscle and joint pain, can worsen.

To help patients fight and manage stress, they are advised to get a sufficient amount of rest while observing a proper diet and regular exercise. In fact, it has been reported before that aerobic exercise can actually decrease fatigue and improve sleep among lupus patients. It also helps improve their overall well-being. To ease their mind and body, they can also consider meditation and accept their limits.

Just because a lupus patient is in pain, doesn't necessarily mean that they can no longer have a fulfilling life. It is absolutely vital to have them be aware of the many things in their life that can keep them going when the going gets rough.