“How long should couples therapy last?”
I am a 38 year old male. My wife and I started couples therapy because we can't communicate well. How long should couples therapy last?
10 Answers
Hello, This is an individual answer. Treatment duration varies case by case. You can consult with a licensed clinician who can assess your situation to determine the treatment duration for your situation.
There isn't an estimated amount of time. It all depends on the time of resolution of the couple's problems.
The answer to this question very much depends on your needs as a couple, the progress you make, the pace at which you work in therapy, other issues that may come up outside of communication issues, and so much more. This is a good question to discuss with the therapist you decide to move forward with.
Hi,
Thank you for your question. Short-term forms of marriage counseling including Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, The Gottman Method, and Solution Focused Relationship Coaching generally require 12-16 sessions to complete. Some couples get what they need in as little as 4-8 sessions. These are often situations in which couples need help with improving communication, or solving day to day problems around responsibilities, parenting, finances, or common goals.
Sometimes, couples face more complicated challenges or there are underlying issues that require longer-term work. Their goals in these situations may involve changing long-standing patterns in the relationship, or healing trust after an affair. Sometimes goals may involve changing patterns that were in the partners long before the relationship even began, which can
take longer to resolve. When it is discovered that part of the problem affecting the relationship is that one or both partners may be struggling with more serious issues, it is often necessary to have longer-term support for the relationship as well as individual therapy for the partner who is struggling.
Some other variables that impact the amount of time marriage counseling takes to work can include learning style, commitment to the process, and ambivalence about the relationship. Here are 7 tips to help deal with differences between you and your partner:
1. Create a relaxed atmosphere and spend time with your partner on a regular basis so you can communicate about your desires and objectives.
2. Don’t give up personal goals and the things you love to do such as hobbies or interests. This will only breed resentment.
3. Support one another’s passions. Accept that you won’t always share the same interests. Respect your partner’s need for space if they want to go on a vacation without you, etc.
4. Learn to resolve conflicts <http://movingpastdivorce.com/2012/04/resolving-conflicts-in-relationships-getting-the-love-you-want/> skillfully. Don’t put aside resentments that can destroy a relationship. Couples who try to avoid conflict are at risk of developing stagnant relationships, which can put them at high risk for divorce.
5. Establish an open-ended dialogue. Listen to your partner’s requests and ask for clarification on points that are unclear. Avoid threats and saying things you’ll regret later.
6. Avoid the “blame game.” Take responsibility for your part in the problems and accept that all human beings are flawed in some way. The next time you feel upset with your partner, check out what’s going on inside yourself and pause and reflect before you place the blame on them.
7. Be realistic about a time-line for change. It takes more than a few sessions to shed light on the dynamics and to begin the process of change
I hope this information has been helpful!
Best,
Jenna Torres, PsyD
Thank you for your question. Short-term forms of marriage counseling including Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, The Gottman Method, and Solution Focused Relationship Coaching generally require 12-16 sessions to complete. Some couples get what they need in as little as 4-8 sessions. These are often situations in which couples need help with improving communication, or solving day to day problems around responsibilities, parenting, finances, or common goals.
Sometimes, couples face more complicated challenges or there are underlying issues that require longer-term work. Their goals in these situations may involve changing long-standing patterns in the relationship, or healing trust after an affair. Sometimes goals may involve changing patterns that were in the partners long before the relationship even began, which can
take longer to resolve. When it is discovered that part of the problem affecting the relationship is that one or both partners may be struggling with more serious issues, it is often necessary to have longer-term support for the relationship as well as individual therapy for the partner who is struggling.
Some other variables that impact the amount of time marriage counseling takes to work can include learning style, commitment to the process, and ambivalence about the relationship. Here are 7 tips to help deal with differences between you and your partner:
1. Create a relaxed atmosphere and spend time with your partner on a regular basis so you can communicate about your desires and objectives.
2. Don’t give up personal goals and the things you love to do such as hobbies or interests. This will only breed resentment.
3. Support one another’s passions. Accept that you won’t always share the same interests. Respect your partner’s need for space if they want to go on a vacation without you, etc.
4. Learn to resolve conflicts <http://movingpastdivorce.com/2012/04/resolving-conflicts-in-relationships-getting-the-love-you-want/> skillfully. Don’t put aside resentments that can destroy a relationship. Couples who try to avoid conflict are at risk of developing stagnant relationships, which can put them at high risk for divorce.
5. Establish an open-ended dialogue. Listen to your partner’s requests and ask for clarification on points that are unclear. Avoid threats and saying things you’ll regret later.
6. Avoid the “blame game.” Take responsibility for your part in the problems and accept that all human beings are flawed in some way. The next time you feel upset with your partner, check out what’s going on inside yourself and pause and reflect before you place the blame on them.
7. Be realistic about a time-line for change. It takes more than a few sessions to shed light on the dynamics and to begin the process of change
I hope this information has been helpful!
Best,
Jenna Torres, PsyD
The duration of couples therapy is relative to the context of the issues like level of conflict, trust, infidelity, parenting .. in other words, the nature of the communication issue. Couples bring two people into therapy, each with learned communication patterns that we explore to provide insight so desired or positive communication skills (including supportive listening) can be adopted. It's a process that builds to learning and supporting each other's strengths after resolving old, often, hurtful wounds. I see couples sometimes weekly for 3 months, and have seen others weekly for a year and. I also provide pre-marital counseling which covers the same content and is so valuable to set the foundation of knowledge and support. I hope this helps.
That isn’t always a simple answer. Some people find that a few sessions can fix a communication problem while others love having an ongoing way to challenge their relationship and grow with guidance. Asking your therapist may be the better way. Counseling doesn’t have to be a lifetime ongoing need for something as simple as communication (not always simple) so I would question your counselor as well as always ask if they believe you are progressing.
Hello,
Thank you so much for reaching out to me. Going to couples counseling for communication issues will really depend on the length of time due to the way your therapist practices, provides information and guidance, and how well the two of you begin to communicate.
Sara Cole, MS, LPC, CAC III, NCC, CFRC
Thank you so much for reaching out to me. Going to couples counseling for communication issues will really depend on the length of time due to the way your therapist practices, provides information and guidance, and how well the two of you begin to communicate.
Sara Cole, MS, LPC, CAC III, NCC, CFRC
Hello and thank you for your question,
Couples therapy, like individual therapy, will take as long as it takes for you and your spouse to do the required work to improve communication. Some therapists have a certain number of sessions as part of their model; however, if the therapist does not have a set number of sessions the work you and your wife do outside of sessions will determine how long it takes. Your therapist will likely give you exercises to work on at home and doing these assignments will help things to move along.
Thank you,
Patricia Harris | MA, MS, LPC
Couples therapy, like individual therapy, will take as long as it takes for you and your spouse to do the required work to improve communication. Some therapists have a certain number of sessions as part of their model; however, if the therapist does not have a set number of sessions the work you and your wife do outside of sessions will determine how long it takes. Your therapist will likely give you exercises to work on at home and doing these assignments will help things to move along.
Thank you,
Patricia Harris | MA, MS, LPC
Matthew James Camarena
Counselor/Therapist | Professional
You need to ask your therapist about this question. He or she is the primary therapist and is aware of the issues at hand and how best to address to them. Best.
Look at this link..
https://www.growingself.com/marriage-counseling-denver/marriage-counseling-questions/how-long-does-marriage-counseling-take/#:~:text=Sometimes%20goals%20may%20involve%20changing,takes%20about%2012%2D16%20sessions.
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