“Meltdowns Behaviour ”

He is growing up and finally realizing he cannot get away with things. He needs sibling and friends and he can learn also from them. He will be fine.

Often children act different at school and at home. He probably has realized that meltdowns at school are not acceptable. Now he has to realize the same for at home. Look at what starts the meltdown: frustration, not getting his way, tiredness, etc. Try to address the cause of the problem and try to find a more acceptable way to handle it--tell him to talk to you instead of crying and running.

Separation

I'm not sure what question you are asking? Are you asking if you should seek counseling for your son? All kinds of things can cause tempter tantrums, from stressful life events to inconsistent discipline. I'd need more information to understand what might be going on with your son. First, make sure you are using consistent discipline methods with your 5-year-old. There's a lot of great resources out there on managing meltdowns. If you adjust your parenting and you still find your child is not able to manage his emotions, I suggest seeking an evaluation by a counselor trained in working with young children.

I suggest contacting a child psychologist to address your concern and discuss safe ways for emotional containment which are likely to reduce the number of meltdowns. Good luck, Dr. Hirshfeld

This most likely reactive or for secondary gains exhibiting a more immature behavior. Inquire about any stressors using child play psychology and simple behavior screenings.

If this is recent behavior change, you should contact your pediatrician for help determining if something has happened to cause fear (bullying, physical or sexual abuse) or an event that is upsetting. A referral to a child psychologist could be very helpful in managing the child's behavior.

If this behavior is a long standing one, even a continuation of the terrible twos, there may be a biochemical abnormality underlying the behavior. In these cases, even minor changes in expected activities, being asked to stop an enjoyable activity, I have worked with families of several hundred children with this type of behavior.

If on psychological evaluation no trigger event is found, a trial of Amantadine HCL, an old medication, can be helpful in relieving the underlying anxiety and restore behavior to a more normal pattern, with few if any side effects. If this is the case, I would be happy to consult with your pediatrician if they contact me.

Often it is best to talk to a child when he is not having a meltdown, rather than at the time. Bedtime can be a time to tuck him in and be curious about what he is feeling when he runs off in a meltdown. But tread lightly and make sure the question is phased in a way that doesn't shame the child. When we can't put feelings into words sometimes the only recourse is a meltdown. It's important to help children find words for what they feel at any given moment, but when they are in the middle of a meltdown, it's impossible.

The best thing to do associated with your child's behavior is to ignore the
outbursts. Typically teachers know how to handle the situation at school
and the behavior extinguishes quickly. After several attempts of
completely ignoring the outburst you will notice he will stop them. I
address this exact problem in my upcoming book because it is common for
parents to have this problem. If he notices that you have a reaction, he
will continue the outbursts. For more helpful tips and updates I am on fb
at doctorjarret.



Jarret Patton MD FAAP

Please keep in mind this reply is for informational purposes only and does not constitute treatment.

I think your question maybe something like, "Are meltdowns still common for 5-year-olds, and why does he do it with me, but not at school?" Children this age still have tantrums at times. Running away from parents, especially out in open public spaces, can be common for some children during meltdowns. If tantrums tend to be related to you saying, "no," or limiting access to something, then running away may feel like getting away from the limit.

Some children turn running away into a game that is fun for them, even if you are scared they may go somewhere unsafe. Your son may not be able to recognize the potential dangers of running away from you. Schools often provide more structure, which may help your son avoid tantrums. The things he is having meltdowns about at home may not be possible at school, so the topic doesn't come up. Also, young children in schools are often given very specific instructions about where and how to walk when moving outside the classroom.

It sounds like your son is doing well in his classroom this year. If you are looking for ways to manage his running away, you might be able to get some pointers from his teacher about how she manages the class and him to avoid running away.

For situations where you are worried about the severity or how long tantrums are lasting, talking to his teacher could again be a good place to start. The school counselor and school psychologist could also be people to talk to if you have concerns. Your pediatrician is another resource available to talk to if you get worried about the tantrums.

This is something to discuss with your pediatrician. Sounds like the meltdowns are situation and location based since they are not happening at school so it would be ideal to sit down and discuss what is different at home that is leading up to these meltdowns and what steps can be taken when they occur to decrease and ultimately resolve the issue

I would have your son evaluated by a psychologist or psychotherapist for behaviors that should be treatable with some family and individual psychotherapy. He needs some good limits and boundaries from mom and dad as a united front and find out the root of his anger outbursts and do it right away.
Sincerely,
Dr. Beverley Antoine

I'd carefully consider the contingencies that reinforce and discouraged his behaviors, both at home and in school. I'd also encourage you to speak to his teachers about their general assessment of your son and to inquire about whether the teacher believes the behavior that you describe or observe at home is consistent with their observations of his in-class behavior and considered typical of other kids his age.

Based on the minor details provided, I would recommend attending parental consultation for assistance in integrating/understanding your son's treatment plan, especially one that includes "differential reinforcement", which is the most effective and appropriate method for addressing this type of behavior.