“Stress levels?”

I have left nursing in the last year on bad terms after struggling for a while with aggressive patients in an IPCU. I never felt the ward was staffed correctly and it was often me that dealt with aggressive situations. I felt it got worse during the pandemic and refused to go sick as I struggled with stress. I had somatic pains all over my body at the time and pains in my chest. It came to a head when I retrained an aggressive patient by putting him down on the floor not using an NHS-recognized technique. Before this, I had begun to steal diazepam in desperation to keep a lid on myself at work. Prior to this I had been attacked 4 or 5 times by patients with capacity and pressed charges every single time them being chucked out by the PF and police.

I ended up having a nervous breakdown and depression. My mother and sister are worried about me as I’m unable to come to terms with what happened with me at work. They believe I need counseling and medication. A fellow general nurse who left the profession who was diagnosed with PTSD believes I need help as well. I have feelings of failure, guilt, being let down and for a long time had dreams about my work. I have feelings of heightened anxiety, loss, loneliness, and frustration. I left one year ago after 20 years of service and am somewhat tormented about a lot of things to do with that service and the lack of support. I do not want to bother my GP with this as the NHS has more important things. My GP signed me of last August for six months. I never returned but put in for early retirement.