“Why am I never in a mood for sex?”
I have been married to my wife for the past 10 years, and lately I haven't been interested in sex. It's not because I'm not attracted to her--I am, but I've been having issues with getting aroused. She finds it very offensive, but I feel like I have no control. What could this be from?
4 Answers
PsychologistSexualHealth
There are many reasons why you might not have sexual desire. To list a few, start with a full physical exam to make sure that your health is good. Some physical conditions can effect sexual drive. Have you testosterone levels checked and your thyroid.
How much stress are you under at work? Are you preoccupied or anxious about things there so it’s hard to turn it off?
Depression can also reduce drive. How has your mood been?
And how well are you are your wife communicating? If you feel under pressure to perform that may also make it hard to relax destress and be in the mood for sex.
Hopefully this will help you to understand what is going on with you and guide what your next steps might be.
Nancy J Warren PhD.
How much stress are you under at work? Are you preoccupied or anxious about things there so it’s hard to turn it off?
Depression can also reduce drive. How has your mood been?
And how well are you are your wife communicating? If you feel under pressure to perform that may also make it hard to relax destress and be in the mood for sex.
Hopefully this will help you to understand what is going on with you and guide what your next steps might be.
Nancy J Warren PhD.
First – good for you, having the courage to write about this very important, but sometimes embarrassing topic which, by the way, affects so many people of both genders! You don’t say how old you are, but at any age, a sensible first step would be to visit your primary care doc. The doctor may note some medication you are taking that has the side effect of reducing arousal. The doctor, in taking blood tests and other tests (hormones, etc.) may alight on some simply corrected deficiency. In addition, assuming you are a man, you may be referred to a urologist; if a woman, to a gynecologist. You will, by this important step, find a physical cause or, absent that, be assured that the cause lies elsewhere.
If elsewhere, the next step would be to consult a specialist in mental health: psychologist, social worker, counselor, psychiatrist. Perhaps you have some underlying depression. Perhaps you have some issues with your wife that have not been resolved and are getting in your way. Perhaps there is some sexual conflict from your past. Perhaps your wife will go with you to some session(s) to help set you both on a better path.
At any rate, I wish you success – sex is such a great, fun, even free pleasure in life, and wouldn’t it be great to have it part of yours again!
Peace,
Dr. Marian K. Shapiro
If elsewhere, the next step would be to consult a specialist in mental health: psychologist, social worker, counselor, psychiatrist. Perhaps you have some underlying depression. Perhaps you have some issues with your wife that have not been resolved and are getting in your way. Perhaps there is some sexual conflict from your past. Perhaps your wife will go with you to some session(s) to help set you both on a better path.
At any rate, I wish you success – sex is such a great, fun, even free pleasure in life, and wouldn’t it be great to have it part of yours again!
Peace,
Dr. Marian K. Shapiro
Not sure of your age but many men go through this in their 40’s - 70’s, depending on their situations. Usually 60’s are the medium age for that to happen but then 50’s are close behind. Many combinations contribute to this. Stress being number one. We can have stress and not even know. I suggest having a date night almost once a week and get dressed up or whatever makes this easier. Your wife needs love and a connection from you
Bottom line, see an ED specialist and see if they can help solve your libido issues.
