“Breakup during covid-19?”
I've been living with what I thought was my partner for the past year and a half, only to find out he's "sexting" someone online since I moved in. Now he wants us to remain friends, and not move out due to the pandemic. What should I do?
Male | 29 years old
Complaint duration: recent week
Medications: None
Conditions: Heart problems
4 Answers
PsychiatristPsychiatrist
I'd say he blew it. I'd ask him to leave. There are residences that offer beds for $500 a month. You can't be his only resource. This is a natural consequence. His idea of friendship give him no consequence, and you have the whole consequence for his behavior. If you feel real bad, buy him a tent.
Think through the pros and cons.
Hello,
Sorry to hear that during these difficult times of COVID-19 you have to deal with another loss. Loss of trust in your partner! The biological information that you have provided below: is it for you or your partner? It is not clear. We do not know how long the pandemic will continue. So, you need to look at the larger picture regarding the living arrangement and whether you can remain friends under these circumstances. I would suggest you undertake in writing Pros and Cons of living with the partner and Pros and Cons of moving out. This is to help you not make an impulsive decision, as you will then engage both head and heart regarding your options. In case you are a codependent, you may benefit from "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie. Other books to consider are "Emotional Infidelity" by M. Gary Newman, "Getting past the affair" by Janis Abrahms Spring and Michael Spring, and "Getting past the Affair" by Douglas K. Snyder, Donald H. Baucom, and Kristina Coop Gordon. Before you make a final decision, you may want to consider going to Couples Therapy provided by a licensed Psychologist and/or a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist so you can, per the subtitle of "Getting Past the Affair", ....."Cope, Heal and Move on---Together or Apart".
Be safe and take care.
Dr. Lata Sonpal
Sorry to hear that during these difficult times of COVID-19 you have to deal with another loss. Loss of trust in your partner! The biological information that you have provided below: is it for you or your partner? It is not clear. We do not know how long the pandemic will continue. So, you need to look at the larger picture regarding the living arrangement and whether you can remain friends under these circumstances. I would suggest you undertake in writing Pros and Cons of living with the partner and Pros and Cons of moving out. This is to help you not make an impulsive decision, as you will then engage both head and heart regarding your options. In case you are a codependent, you may benefit from "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie. Other books to consider are "Emotional Infidelity" by M. Gary Newman, "Getting past the affair" by Janis Abrahms Spring and Michael Spring, and "Getting past the Affair" by Douglas K. Snyder, Donald H. Baucom, and Kristina Coop Gordon. Before you make a final decision, you may want to consider going to Couples Therapy provided by a licensed Psychologist and/or a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist so you can, per the subtitle of "Getting Past the Affair", ....."Cope, Heal and Move on---Together or Apart".
Be safe and take care.
Dr. Lata Sonpal
See this reflection for some insight into your question:
https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/my-partner-is-sexting-someone-else-should-i-end-the-relationship-a6974906.html
or:
http://netaddiction.com/is-cybersex-cheating/
Once you've applied these suggestions, then consider the next course of actions - if the relationship cannot be healed, work towards him moving out safely.
https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/my-partner-is-sexting-someone-else-should-i-end-the-relationship-a6974906.html
or:
http://netaddiction.com/is-cybersex-cheating/
Once you've applied these suggestions, then consider the next course of actions - if the relationship cannot be healed, work towards him moving out safely.
