“Dependency to opiate vs addiction ”

This raises an all too common point. There are 11 criteria, according to the DSM V, for an opioid use disorder. You can "Google" thern. You will note that 2 of them are "tolerance"- less effect from the same dose or needing a higher dose for the same effect- and "withdrawal"- developing symtoms like nausea, diarhea, sweating, tremor etc.. If someone is taking opioids chronically for a definite diagnosis for which opioids are a legitimate treatment, those two criteria are not considered in evaluating a patient for OUD. So if you look the criteria up, discard these two and do not answer "yes" to at least three of the other 9 criteria, then you are DEPENDENT, not ADDICTED. Your drug counselor brother ought to know this. So I can only surmise that he either doesn't know what he's talking about (which leads to the question 'how good a drug counselor is he?") or there is an ulterior motive here which your parent's estate could certainly qualify for.
Here's a few other questions- have you been steadily increasing your dose, and it seems it's never enough? Do you run out early? Are you calling your provider frequently for early refills and making excuses like, "I lost my prescription", "it was stolen", "I accidently washed it in the laundry", "I knocked over the bottle and the pills went down the sink"....If the answer is "no" then you can't even be accused of abusing your medicine (with a straight face, anyway.....)
I would recommend that you find a REAL drug counselor with the initials LADC after the name (Licensed Alcohol and Drug Counselor), or an Physician certified by the American Board of Addiction Medicine or the American Board of Preventive Medicine- Addiction and make an appt for an evaluation.. You can find the latter on the American Society of Addiction Medicine's website (www.ASAM.org) under the tab "find a doctor" put in your state or zip code and you will get a list of patients within your area. If they agree with my remote assessment, that will bolster your case if you have to sue your brother.
Good luck
CFL, FASAM

Drug dependence is typically defined as what causes tolerance more drug needed to get the effect and withdrawal (physical effects) while addiction is characterized by having more the mental neurological reward centers needing continued stimulation dopamine

This question is best discussed with your pain management physician

Physical dependency is NOT addiction, and in fact is not even required for the diagnosis of a Substance Use Disorder. The 11 criteria relate to the amount of harm being done by the drug clearly exceeding whatever good it does. This harm can be in our personal lives or our lives with other people (social harm). Some drug and alcohol counselors view ANY use of a potentially dependency-producing drug or substance as being problematic, and make use=abuse=dependency. Your dose is quite low, and I doubt very much it is causing any change in your mood. Arguing with your brother may be the source of your "hostility,"

Only you would be able to tell if you truly had true Opioid Use Disorder versus a physiological dependence alone. There is a lot of gray area and in-between spaces with this disease. You can look up the DSM5 criteria online, answer the questions to yourself with brutal honesty, and if you meet more than 2-3 criteria, you are likely in the realm of a use disorder. If the meds are causing you to be hostile and not know what you are doing more than just occasionally, then you probably have a use disorder. You can always consider switching to Suboxone which can treat pain as well as prevent progression of an opioid use disorder. A much safer alternative for someone who needs long term opioids. Good luck.

Chemically dependent on a medication requires tolerance and an element of withdrawal when the medication is not taken. “Addiction” or substance use disorder is a term that we use to distinguish an unhealthy use of a substance. In your case, I would talk to the doctor prescribing your medications and perhaps involving your family in that conversation as it pertains to your terminal condition.

When you take opiates regularly you will become tolerant so that if you stop cold turkey you will go into painful withdrawal. This is NOT addiction

The use of opioids for chronic pain is controversial because there are differences in opinion about what the benefits vs the risks are. They can cause behavioral and cognitive side effects. It is not unusual in legal matters for them to be used to question someone's judgement. A mental health professional can render an opinion about whether someone has an addiction vs physical dependence based on the DSM5 criteria for opioid use disorder.

Sorry, I can't help you with your brother, who clearly doesn't have your best interests at heart. I doubt you can change his opinion, both because he has a financial incentive to bad-mouth you, and because most people in the addiction treatment field believe ANY use of opioids means you're addicted, full stop. That's clearly BS and simply fundamentalist addiction ideology. You'd find that most of the people he works with have the same opinion. They're wrong, too.

Please search the Internet for more information about the difference between addiction and use of opioids. Bottom line: addiction is NOT just physical tolerance and dependence, which is inherent in opioid use for more than a few days. Addiction is the three C's: Craving (thinking about using and an intolerable desire to use more), Compulsive use and loss of Control (you can't stop and use more than intended), and use despite Consequences (opioids become an ongoing problem in themselves). Though too many teens become addicted to opioids when given a large opioid prescription following surgery or a minor injury, the vast majority patients taking opioids over the long term aren't addicts.

In addition to printing out articles describing the difference between addiction and chronic use, you might track down a physician (MD) who specializes in addiction medicine to do a formal evaluation and write a letter you can show your parents you are NOT an addict and why your brother insists you are (i.e., he's an addiction fundamentalist, like so many in his field).

That said, though I've been doing this for decades, I've never heard of using oxycodone to treat emphysema. Usually it's contraindicated, because opioids suppress the respiratory drive, which you desperately need to stay alive. But respiratory suppression is a short-term side effect that clears up in a few days. And your dose is quite modest, half the maximum recommended opioid dose.