“I am always anxious and have been this way for the last 7 years. What can I do to get a break from this anxiety?”
I am 47 years old and since my mother passed away 7 years ago, I have always been anxious. I don’t know what I should do to calm my mind and body to get relief from this anxiety. Please help.
14 Answers
Find a therapist who treats anxiety. Read Stopping the Noise in Your Head by Reid Wilson.
There are many reasons and causes of anxiety. Suffering from depression or anxiety is common among people who are grieving the loss of a loved one. Anxiety is best treated with good nutrition and exercise. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is helpful in identifying our worries as irrational. Psychologists have proven that 95% of our worries are worthless. Distractions such as music or art can be helpful.
Consult with a therapist familiar in treatment of anxiety and relaxation techniques. The technique are very effective and the therapy at can help you get to the the core of your anxiety.
So, anxiety usually is caused by early childhood insecurity or separation anxiety. There is a feeling of insignificance, emptiness or something to fit your interpretation of neglect at an early age. Maybe you also buried a trauma that never got expressed. In any event, sometimes we nurture or need our parents after we are adults, because we were insufficiently nurtured. Then, when they die, we know we will never get that hole filled. You need to address your neglect as a child, perhaps in therapy, talking about it and crying it out. After that, you begin to nurture yourself and following you dreams.
I think you might have some separation anxiety since the passing of your mother. Get involved doing activities with other people and get out of your head. If it persists, seek a therapist.
Hopefully,you haven't been self- medicating with alcohol or street drugs. Minor tranquilizers prescribed by your physician can be a contributing factor. Your body adapts to the dosage and pretty soon you are requiring a higher dosage to obtain relief. Nutrition,exercise as well as the B vitamins can provide natural relief.
I’m sorry for your loss. Sometimes, separation from a loved one can cause anxiety of this type. I would suggest you think about a support group for people grieving as you are. Also, try some yoga and mindfulness/meditation to help with your anxiety. Sleep, exercise, and healthy eating always helps. If none of this does the trick, please consider professional help. Anxiety is a treatable illness and you needn’t be suffering like this.
There are excellent and effective treatments for anxiety now, particularly cogntive-behavioral techniques, so seek a qualified psychologist who uses those type of techniques. While anxiolytics are helpful, try to stay away from those and try CBT first. If therapy isn't enough, then see a psychiatrist for those meds. It also sounds like you may have unresolved grief for your mother, or fear of death issues, that may also need to be addressed.
Dr. Diane Bridgeman
Psychologist
Perhaps you haven't fully dealt with the grief from your mother's passing.
Talking with a therapist around this issue may be helpful or even attending a Hospice grief group. In working with a therapist it would be helpful to that person (& to you), if you can identify what patterns emerge around specific types of anxieties and what may trigger them. Looking at changes before and then after your mother's passing in your behaviors, thoughts, routines, might provide some clues. It might be helpful to remember that many people have deep feelings around a major loss, so that you might look at this as a normal reaction that is deserving of fully processing.
Do you take time for regular self-care? Does the anxiety affect your sleep?
Do you try to find reasonable life/work balance? These are points you might want to discuss with a therapist. You might consider mindfulness based meditation, positive visual imagery, regular exercise, eating healthy, and finding regular moments of joy and purpose. You can also visit online the U.C. Berkeley Greater Good Science Center for many helpful articles, videos, classes on positive psychology and related concepts around reducing anxiety.
Good luck to you and your reaching out is an excellent start.
Talking with a therapist around this issue may be helpful or even attending a Hospice grief group. In working with a therapist it would be helpful to that person (& to you), if you can identify what patterns emerge around specific types of anxieties and what may trigger them. Looking at changes before and then after your mother's passing in your behaviors, thoughts, routines, might provide some clues. It might be helpful to remember that many people have deep feelings around a major loss, so that you might look at this as a normal reaction that is deserving of fully processing.
Do you take time for regular self-care? Does the anxiety affect your sleep?
Do you try to find reasonable life/work balance? These are points you might want to discuss with a therapist. You might consider mindfulness based meditation, positive visual imagery, regular exercise, eating healthy, and finding regular moments of joy and purpose. You can also visit online the U.C. Berkeley Greater Good Science Center for many helpful articles, videos, classes on positive psychology and related concepts around reducing anxiety.
Good luck to you and your reaching out is an excellent start.
It sounds like you are connecting your current anxiety to the loss of your mother, and that is certainly possible. You may have lost more than just your relationship with her, such as a life routine that included her and things related to her. The psychological treatment of anxiety often takes time. There are probably multiple sources of anxiety such as unresolved grief. When a parent dies the hope of the kind of loving and nurturing relationship that we long for dies also. If we have mixed feelings about the parent that passes, which is ALWAYS the case with our mothers, then it can be difficult to allow anger, disappointment, and resentment to rise to the surface because such feelings can be experienced as disloyal. Anxiety can also come up because you have lost a sense of being connected in the world that being in relationship with your mother provided. Finally, although psychotherapy is helpful in resolving these issues, other approaches can also be needed, such as learning some basic trauma concepts about staying present in your body and learning how to stay grounded in your everyday life. These skills can take some practice, but they are worth learning because they provide support when you encounter other life challenges.
Seven years! You must have gotten a lot of advice during that time (take this pill, see this guru, exercise, drink this, eat that….). There are so many solutions to anxiety and, like clothes, no one size fits all. I suggest you go to see a psychologist (or social worker) trained in clinical hypnosis with experience treating anxiety. So that you are assured of getting a reputable person (because hypnosis is an area in which non-clinical people practice without the need for licenses in most states), go to the website of the American Society of Clinical Hypnosis (of which I am a member) to find an appropriate practitioner in your geographic area. If you live in an area without any big cities, you may have to go a distance, but it is worth it! After you learn the skills, you practice it on your own, and can continue with some other therapist closer by if that is recommended.
Good luck!
Peace,
Marian
Good luck!
Peace,
Marian
Try to see what happened during the time it started and try to investigate and come up with one or two answers and then start dealing with that. This is what a therapist would or should do
Go see a psychologist first to see if CBT and/or mindfulness exercises will help and follow up with a psychiatrist for possible anti-anxiety meds. In the mean time, download an app dealing with mindfulness like CALM.
I am sorry for your loss. Grief can be a very complicated life experience. I would encourage you to see your medical provider to make sure there are no biological causes to your anxiety. You may also benefit from seeing a mental health provider who is skilled in treating anxiety and grief. It is not uncommon for depression to manifest as anxiety or worsen anxiety. As such, a qualified mental health provider can help you process these thoughts and teach you strategies to calm your body. Take care.
