“My husband gets very violent sometimes. What should I do?”
My husband and I have been married for the last 10 years. These days he losses his cool a lot and also gets a violent, though he regrets it. It's never toward me or any other people, thankfully, but he has broken a few plates and has punched a hole in the wall. He knows he shouldn't be doing it and it creates a lot of tension in the house. Do you think he needs psychological counseling?
12 Answers
Your husband needs to see his physician for a thorough physical and blood work-up, just to make sure he's physiologically healthy. Also, for him to go into individual therapy for "anger management." It would also be good for you to go into your own individual therapy, because it's hurtful and difficult for you to be in a relationship with your husband whom you never know when he'll have a rageful, violent episode--this can lead you to feel anxious and apprehensive, on high alert. It also would help for you both to be in couples therapy in order to work on how optimally to interact with each other, learn better communication strategies, etc. Good luck to you--and please follow through with these suggestions. I do not want for his behavior to escalate, which if steps are not take to address his behavior, there's potential for you and/or him to get hurt. I wish you the best :-)
Yes! You also need to know, you are just lucky he has not hit you or anyone else. It will if he does not get help!!
Anger is something we all experience based on life situations. Since we all see the world differently it is not surprising that we react differently to life situations. What makes something a problem is when it starts to effect relationships and your husband’s anger is doing just that. I woukd have him see a psychologist to evaluate him to determine if he struggles with a psychological disorder. Even if there is no disorder, there are clear problems regulating his emotions, which he needs help with.
He needs to explore the triggers and roots of those emotions and behaviors. There are tools to reduce the anger. He needs to be open to exploring the internal process within him.
Dr. Claire, PSY. D.
Dr. Claire, PSY. D.
It sounds like he could use a class in anger management. Most major metropolitan areas have such a course if you go online and Google. Otherwise, if he would like some help with this privately, he could Google Psychology Today's therapist network and look for a local psychologist who specializes in anger management.
The violent behavior your husband exhibits adversely affects the emotional well being of everyone in your household. In addition, his violence can eventually escalate and become directed at you or other family members. He should seek help from a mental health professional and if possible, you should accompany him to insure full disclosure of his violent behavior. If he does not want you to attend, you can write a letter to the mental health professional explaining your concerns. You should also seek help for yourself from a mental health professional for support and guidance. If you have children, they too would benefit from support and help coping with the anger and violence their father displays.
Yes, your husband would benefit from counseling. He appears to have some unresolved issues. Anger management would be beneficial.
Not really, he is probably letting loose some anger issues and a anger management counseling sessions can help with that
Absolutely, he needs help. He is on a short fuse because of a painful issue or issues he never fully addressed (faced, acknowledged, and expressed). Until he does, he will scapegoat others, even if those others are only plates.
A simple answer - Yes! And you need to be ready to leave if necessary at a moment’s notice. Violence can escalate dangerously and quickly.
Yes. Your husband's anger definitely merits a thorough psychological workup and treatment. The best though may be for the two of you to go together to a couples therapist. That way you can learn what you can do differently as well as what he needs to change. When you work together as a team, the odds zoom up that the anger will become a thing of the past.