Navigating Love with Fibromyalgia
I am now 56 years old. I realize I lived with chronic pain and fatigue for over 15 years. In 2008 I finally found a new physician that worked with me to get a diagnosis and treatment. I was living with such pain and fatigue I could barely manage to get out of bed. I had two teenagers and was watching them through my bedroom...
View MoreA lot of partners have trouble understanding the challenges you face with fibromyalgia. How does your loved one understand your condition?
I married a man a lot like my Dad 37 years ago. My husband, Brian tries to be supportive. He tried to understand from the beginning because I was bedridden with pain and fatigue over ten years ago. I pushed for him to attend a doctors appointment with me when I was meeting a new physician, #4. He is a compassionate person. While he was working and commuting 4 to 5 hours a day, I was accepting that I could no longer work. He told me, my job was to get better. He tried to alleviate one worry.
How does your partner make your routine easier for you?
I remain thankful for Brian's support. He will help prepare dinners and vacuum the house. There are times I need to ask for his help, but he is responsive. If laundry is piling up I often need his help in loading and folding. It is the repetitive movements that aggravate my body the most, like folding, bending to load dishwasher, and unload it. Jobs that I once relegated to my children, but they are now grown and gone. We are one year into his retirement and he now cooks meals 90% of the time. He now, also has become the grocery shopper or we tag team together in the store shortening the time spent so the task is not as nearly exhausting. He is my official magnesium cream applier rubs it in on my back and hips when needed.
What do you do to help your partner understand your symptoms?
I have learned to to communicate to him what kind of a day I am experiencing. He has told me, he needs me to talk. Not a single day goes by that I am not thankful for having such a caring partner. I tend to withdraw into myself to get through the bad days. But he has taught me, I need to communicate better. If I am on the heating pad and quiet and grumpy, he knows its a bad day. But will ask me how can he help? Bad day, huh? So I came up with terms to give him insight to my pain scale..."feeling like tin man today", the "fibro beast is winning today", "the fog is so thick I could cut it with a knife" or "not going to be accomplishing much today" are now the words I use to express pain levels. If it is a good day, I smile more, I was told. I think the smile is a big indicator.
