“Why is my son so angry?”
Ever since my son hit about 12 years old, it seems he is overwhelmed with anger and is never happy. What could have caused this, and how can I help him?
10 Answers
I am so sorry to hear about your son and your challenges dealing with all this.
Few important things- was he evaluated by Neurology? Brain Scans? Post Concussion symptoms can cause anger mood swings, anger outbursts/ mood problem potentially results from Traumatic Brain Injury.
Your initial work up starts with Neurologist also to rule any epileptic activity and Psychiatrist, depends on his symptoms he may benefit from psychotropic medication.
All the best,
Few important things- was he evaluated by Neurology? Brain Scans? Post Concussion symptoms can cause anger mood swings, anger outbursts/ mood problem potentially results from Traumatic Brain Injury.
Your initial work up starts with Neurologist also to rule any epileptic activity and Psychiatrist, depends on his symptoms he may benefit from psychotropic medication.
All the best,
Thanks for reaching out. Does your son have a male role model, because he is going through puberty and changes in his body.
Hope that helps.
Dr Sangra
Hope that helps.
Dr Sangra
Anger in this age group could be from different causes, conflicts with peers, bullying or teasing, depression/anxiety can also cause anger. He would benefit from seeing a therapist to determine the cause of the emotional turmoil.
Without knowing more, I cannot give a specific answer, but there are definitely possibilities which can include hormonal changes as he enters puberty, being bullied or having had another trauma, peer drama or relationship problems, family stresses. It may be helpful to talk with him about this or consult with a professional
He is in the midst of puberty, and his higher level of testosterone is part of this. He also may be having some other developmental changes in his chemicals and the anger is a manifestation of a mood problem if it gets in the way. optimizing his diet is really worth it -can be hard at this age, reduce inflammatory foods, dairy, grain, sugar, make sure he is getitng Healthy protein and fats, Good MVI, and EFA-essential fatty acids. Would be worth a good Physical exam and maybe some blood work with his Pediatrician. Get a vit D level, he may be deficient and could benefit from supplementation Pediatrician can refer him to a counselor to work on anger control and better understand any feeling he might be having that are troublesome to him . Spending regular 1 on 1 time is important so you can know how he is feeling about things and help him manage those feelings at this age.
Best Wishes
Best Wishes
Your son may or may not want to talk to you about his feelings, but might welcome the chance to speak with a neutral third party like a therapist, his primary care physician, or school counsellor. Is he angry around other family members or friends? Some information that is helpful in evaluating anger is: sleep -- pattern, number of hours nightly, and is it refreshing?; have interests changed?; is he still socializing with friends?; is there a lot of guilt or shame?; what is his energy level?; can he concentrate on school work?; does he cry or feel like crying?; what is his appetite?; has there been a change in weight?; is agitation present?; what is his speech like -- slowed or rapid?; any thoughts of suicide or homicide? One thought that comes to mind is that it is often easier to be mad than sad. Has there been a loss in his life? Does he have a best friend? How is school going? Are his grades good or falling? Is he being bullied? It is one thing to be angry and voice the anger, but another thing to be physically aggressive. Safety for everyone is most important. Is there any fun family time? Is there time for friends? Is there time for activities / exercise? (this can be a variety of things). Tensions may be running high in the family. Don't forget to give positive encouraging comments. Try to balance positive statements and negative statements. If anyone is only hearing negativity, it's difficult to have happy feelings. It might be helpful to ask him, "If you could change anything in your life, what would it be?" "Are you worried about anything?" If he refuses to talk, let him know that you want to help him and you are willing to listen to him, or if he prefers, you are willing to find someone else with whom he can talk. Has he been checked out by his PCP lately? Make sure he is physically healthy. Does he eat a good diet? Get good sleep? Sunshine? Exercise? Does he have room for a spiritual life? He might appreciate learning "mindfulness" and taking time to be present in the moment, and learning calming breathing exercises. There are apps that can be downloaded to help a person practice these. Some schools are now including mindfulness exercises that help students. I hope these thoughts are helpful and wish you well.
Susan Sparkman, M.D.
Susan Sparkman, M.D.
Sometimes anger like that coming before or at puberty can be a manifestation of a chemical imbalance. Boys tend to show depression through anger whereas girls become irritable and emotional. At other times, it’s part of the maturational steps involved in separation and individuation that are occurring at this time. A child psychiatrist can assess your son and give advice as to how best help him with his anger. The school counselor may also be able to give you some direction with him.