“Why am I such an introvert?”
I am extremely self-conscious in public. Even sitting at my desk at work gives me panicky feelings because of the people around me. I am an extreme introvert and even if I try to open up I am unable to do so. Why is it happening? I know I have a problem but I have no idea what to do. Do you have any suggestions?
12 Answers
You are describing symptoms of social anxiety disorder. It sounds like you actually desire to be social, but fear keeps you from acting on your desires, leaving you avoidant and then alone. This is treatable. Please contact a psychologist in your area for an evaluation, you will be glad you did. Please find someone who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy.
Michael Klaybor
Psychologist
I wish there was an easy answer to your question about being an introvert. There are many factors that contribute. Being an introvert or extrovert isn't good or bad, just different. As an introvert, you recharge being alone and extroverts recharge in social situations. When you feel panicky, this may be an indication of some form of anxiety that could be treated with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. It may be useful to find someone to talk with to help you become more comfortable. There are also anti-anxiety medications that can help lower your anxiety level.
This is very normal to feel as an introvert. You might want to look at your anxiety levels and how you were as a kid, at times if you are an introvert you might experience something called social anxiety. When you have social anxiety, you might feel closed off or at times even suffocated when around others because they tend to drain you. The best thing is to go into therapy talk to your therapist for about 10 sessions and discuss with them what is happening. They might be able to give you some guidance as to what to work on and also point out some of your triggers so that you know how to cope better.
Irene Yaymadjian, PsyD
Irene Yaymadjian, PsyD
Hello,
You most likely have social phobia, a very common anxiety disorder that can be treated through cognitive behavioral therapy and exposure. Medication can also be helpful. The book Quiet would likely be a helpful read.
Hopefully you found this helpful and seek help if it doesn’t start improving through reading about treatment techniques and applying them on your own.
Nicole Grunzke, PsyDLP
You most likely have social phobia, a very common anxiety disorder that can be treated through cognitive behavioral therapy and exposure. Medication can also be helpful. The book Quiet would likely be a helpful read.
Hopefully you found this helpful and seek help if it doesn’t start improving through reading about treatment techniques and applying them on your own.
Nicole Grunzke, PsyDLP
It sounds like you suffer from social anxiety which introverts often deal with to various degrees. Causes of social anxiety include a biological predisposition, environmental factors, and faulty thought patterns. Because you describe having social anxiety which significantly affects important aspects of your life and causes significant distress, I believe you have Social Anxiety Disorder. You would benefit from meeting with a psychologist or other mental health professional who can provide you with support and help you develop effective coping skills, increased self-esteem, and insight into unresolved issues that may be contributing to your difficulties. Prescribed psychotropic medication from a psychiatrist can also help increase your resilience to anxiety and anxiety provoking situations.
Dear Madam/Sir:
It must be very difficult to be uncomfortable around people when you are self-conscious. Why are you an introvert? I could not say as I do not know you. How long have you been suffering like this? Did it start in your childhood or did a traumatic social event precede your panicky feelings? Are you shy and or suffer from social anxiety? What are you self-conscious about? Your appearance, your accent, your height? You may want to join a group led by a therapist where other people are dealing with similar issues as that may start making you comfortable around people. Or you may seek individual therapy and work through the underlying causes and release them so you can start being comfortable in your skin.
Take care,
Dr. Sonpal
It must be very difficult to be uncomfortable around people when you are self-conscious. Why are you an introvert? I could not say as I do not know you. How long have you been suffering like this? Did it start in your childhood or did a traumatic social event precede your panicky feelings? Are you shy and or suffer from social anxiety? What are you self-conscious about? Your appearance, your accent, your height? You may want to join a group led by a therapist where other people are dealing with similar issues as that may start making you comfortable around people. Or you may seek individual therapy and work through the underlying causes and release them so you can start being comfortable in your skin.
Take care,
Dr. Sonpal
Sounds like you have some self-esteem issues, and that makes you feel uncomfortable around other people. You may have thoughts of not being "good enough." A good therapist can help you with these issues. I srongly recommend counseling.
You must have always been an introvert. I can understand how painful it can feel at some times. I truly believe that you should have therapy with a good clinician, because your situation (symptoms) most likely developed in relation to your experiences in childhood, and that needs to be explored in-depth. In the interim, try to open up to people a small bit at a time. Start with saying good morning to someone and look at their face. Start greeting people.
Best wishes.
Best wishes.
Befriend a person who can coach you and help you. Baby steps, remember
You are self-conscious, because you fear you are not enough. That's a lie, but it's what you believe. From where did that lie come? You might want to talk back to an empty chair.
After identifying the lie, you need to become curious about others. What do you do to set them at ease. If you can't see others, your introversion has become selfish.
Sometimes, we have a fear of criticism because we were criticized too much or at unforgettable moments. Who did that to you? Are they still around? If so, tell them how it affected you, or tell them to stop, if they still do it. If they can't, avoid them.
All this is to say find the source and rewrite your script, to include curiosity about the world. You don't want to die not having lived, because you worried about what other people thought. Frankly, for the most part, they don't care. They are too busy worrying about what others think of them.
After identifying the lie, you need to become curious about others. What do you do to set them at ease. If you can't see others, your introversion has become selfish.
Sometimes, we have a fear of criticism because we were criticized too much or at unforgettable moments. Who did that to you? Are they still around? If so, tell them how it affected you, or tell them to stop, if they still do it. If they can't, avoid them.
All this is to say find the source and rewrite your script, to include curiosity about the world. You don't want to die not having lived, because you worried about what other people thought. Frankly, for the most part, they don't care. They are too busy worrying about what others think of them.
This problem may best be treated via techniques called Emotion Code, Body Code, and Heartmath. Do a web search and consider giving these a try. These treatments are unorthodox but can be highly effective. And it's nice that if they are going to work, you'll know by how you feel after even just one first session.
Being an introvert is not a bad thing. It just means you think before you act on things. If you have never taken the MBTI I suggest you do so. Get the MBTI Form Q Type II report - quite revealing. If you like send me your email address and I can connect you to take it. That said, you may have a social phobia which can be treated in therapy. Seek out a MH professional who knows CBT and exposure therapy.
