A Woman’s Guide to Keeping Your Man Healthy

A Woman’s Guide to Keeping Your Man Healthy
Julie Doherty Naturopathic Physician Mount Gambier, South Australia

My Commitment and Dedication - Is to provide Evidence Based Guidance and Support that will enable you to Build a Firm Foundation to Master a Life of Optimal Health, Happiness, Vitality and the Best Quality. Beginning with the Key Essence to Build a Brilliant Mind. How Fuelling your mind to positive changes, understanding... more

“A man’s health is dependent on a health-minded, loving, and strong woman”

It is no secret that statistics show that men in general do not pay as much attention to their health as women, even when presented with a health crisis.

It appears that men are more focused on fitting in and being one of the guys than with making changes to their diet or lifestyle habits. In fact, I would go as far as to say that they are embarrassed to make healthy changes due to fear of rejection or people thinking that they are some sort of health nut.

Well, let me tell you, I personally would rather be looked at as some kind of health nut, than having numerous doctors’ appointments, hospital visits, loss of autonomy and independence.

Why do women become involved with their man's health?

Main reasons:

  1. Women are generally in the habit of making healthcare decisions within their families. Women are aware that if their man isn’t healthy, this is going to affect their own health and well-being.
  2. Traditionally women have played the major care giver role in the family and statistics show that they still do. I love what the mum says in the movie “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” when the dad is giving the daughter a hard time about the guy she wants to marry. The mum says to the daughter, “Don’t worry, your dad might think that he is the head of the family, but I am the neck and can turn the head whichever way I want to.”

I am not going to sugar coat this for you ladies. Having been married myself for 45 years, with three adult sons, and many years of experience professionally treating men, you definitely have a challenge on your hands, but one that is worth learning for how to keep your man healthy.

Overcoming obstacles. One of the biggest obstacles for men can be admitting that there is anything wrong. More often than not, men have been led to believe that “real men don’t cry” or "get sick”. The problem here is to realize that becoming sick is the body’s way of communicating what it needs.

This might be with making changes in the food being eaten, acknowledging emotional problems, fears and anxiety, and taking time out to rest and recover.

One of men’s biggest fears is losing their sexual ability. This can be a draw card when it comes to gently persuading him to eat better, eliminate negative habits such as drinking too much, smoking, taking drugs and even over the counter medications as these will all have a detrimental effect on his health, especially his sexual health. Poor food choices, drugs, alcohol and medications have a negative effect on the male’s sexual ability.

Educate yourself. This is going to be beneficial, not just for the man in your life, but for you and the whole family. Health doesn’t come in a bottle, jar or pill. It comes from making simple lifestyle choices, eating fresh whole foods and eliminating negative habits. It’s about not being ignorant or oblivious to learning the fundamentals about health, not just what causes sickness, but the disease. Thus, giving you the tools to prevent it.

Health is something that needs to be worked on every day. Being sick is not the problem, it is about how you attempt to become well, which will make all the difference. Becoming well is dependent on how you think, what you eat and what you do.

Communicate. It is important to share what you have learnt, in kind, loving and thoughtful ways. Let your man know that it is all part of you loving and caring for him. Make healthy choices an automatic part of your daily schedule.

Associate with health-minded people. This may be difficult to do all of the time, but it is important that you spend a greater percentage of your time with people who value their health and take care of themselves. Health isn’t a commodity, it is something you need to work toward and you will reap the rewards as your life unfolds. The important thing here is that if you are with people who aren’t health minded, do not make a big deal about it. Just go about with your healthy habits discreetly. If it is about catching up for a meal, then choose to go out, then you will have control over what you eat.

Work together. Health problems, or hiccups, will come up from time to time. These can be warnings for changes that need to be made. Talk together about any health concerns so that you can decide if a health check-up is needed to know exactly what is going on. It may be necessary initially for medications to be prescribed. It is important to remember that these will not have any significant restorative actions towards becoming well. This is where looking at ways to work on recovering with natural treatments that are going to support your body to heal is important. Go to medical or any other health appointments together. Help your man to have a list, if necessary, of the questions and concerns that he has.

The best defence: Not all illnesses and diseases can be easily detected. Disease is a breaking down of the body systems that has come about over a period of time. Prevention is always a safer bet than waiting or looking for a cure. A disease will NEVER be cured, BUT a Person can become well by making positive steps to a positive life.

Don’t wait to become sick. Today with the bombardment of social media, television advertisements could very easily become subliminally programmed to show that you are going to become unwell, end up with some kind of disease, living a life being totally controlled by someone else. Take a step out of this arena and put the necessary steps in place for you, your man and your family to live life with the best possible health. Always remember that no matter what happens, the healthier you are, the better your chance of recovery.

If the man in your life continues to avoid taking his health seriously and seeking health support as needed, you may find the following approaches helpful:

  • Find health providers that you both find are easy to talk to, who will take what you have to say about your health and the solutions you want to follow seriously. A good health specialist will not just prescribe you medications, vitamins, or supplements, they will support you in making health and lifestyle changes that you can take charge of.
  • I have always told my clients when dealing with a medical doctor or specialist to find one that is prepared to accept natural therapies as part, or in many cases as a whole, in working together for what is best for your HEALTH and HEALING.
  • After having gone to an appointment concerning your health, schedule time together, just the two of you, to talk about the appointment and what sounds feasible and right for you.
  • Find out if your man is more comfortable seeing a male or female healthcare practitioner.
  • Recruit male friends and relatives who engage in good health habits. This will help to reinforce what you are both working toward.  
  • It is important to understand that it is not just about being physically fit that will determine your level of health. There is a connection between mental, physical, and emotional health.
  • Someone may appear to be physically healthy as they aren’t overweight but may have clogged up arteries due to poor diet. They could have emotional problems, such as anxiety, trauma and or depression. This is when understanding the connection of bringing balance to your mind and your emotions will have a positive effect on your physical health and well-being
  • Gently remind him that he is an example to his children and they will be influenced by his choosing healthy behaviours and actions.
  • Make exercise a family event that is enjoyable and often rewarding. Go for a bike ride, do some gardening, mow the lawn, go for a swim, or just go for a walk around your neighborhood.
  • Reinforce the fact that you love him and want to live a long and happy life together.
  • Self-care and self-love: This probably should have been one of the initial suggestions in supporting your man’s health. As you know you don’t have control over other people, even the ones who you love, all you have is influence.
  • Setting an example. By caring and loving yourself, you are giving yourself a strong foundation for your health, well-being and happiness, as well as setting an example. I know for me I wouldn’t go to seek advice or help from anyone who didn’t put into practice what I was wanting to learn from them or even when it comes to have any work done by them.

As an example I wouldn’t consult with a health professional who clearly appeared unhealthy. I wouldn’t have someone come to do work on my house, who didn’t act in a professional way with their trade or skills.

With your man, your family and friends, they will learn more from what you do than what you say. So if you are wanting changes to happen than it is important for you to begin to bring about the changes in your own personal space.

Achieving optimal health is like peeling an onion—you do it one layer at a time. The layers being your physical being, your mind and emotions, your soul – there is more to each of us than just our bodies. Bringing these into balance is bringing your health to an understanding that there is more to achieving optimal health than meets the eye.

Make it a family affair. Talk to one another. Sharing your experiences, feelings and emotions helps in bringing them to a level of normalcy, that you aren’t the only one going through this. Older family members, such as parents and grandparents can be a great sounding board, not so as to dump on them, but to understand how they have achieved a sense of balance with their life.

The Art of Support Not Control: “Let Go of Emotions: Release the need to Control: Understand the concept of Support” – Julie Doherty

One of the most difficult challenges when it comes to loved ones is that you don’t control, or have control over them and their situation. You are not meant to.

No one likes to be controlled, that is all part of becoming an adult. However, each of us will need support, encouragement and guidance throughout our life.

It is important when providing support that this is done with a –

  • Mindset of love – Not duty,
  • Compassion – Not a fear of rejection:
  • Empathy – Not a feeling that you have to.

It is important to also acknowledge when external support is needed in the way of health professionals, family and friends. Most of the time, family and friends are willing to provide support but will not intrude, allowing you to find your way and knowing that you will ask when the time is right. This is significant when it comes to serious or terminal illness.

“Never let the Thoughts that are in your Mind:

Rob you of the Love that is in your Heart”

-Julie Doherty

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