What a Cancer Patient Needs from Friends and Loved Ones

Roughly one in every three men and women will be diagnosed with cancer in their lifetime, according to the present statistics. That doesn’t mean that the statistic falls evenly across the board: demographics, lifestyle, family history, environmental factors, and a number of other risk factors contribute to a person’s likelihood of developing cancer.

Cancer is also an umbrella term. There are some cancers, like cancer of the brain, which have tragically low survival rates. Other cancers, such as breast and skin cancer, have higher survival rates and generally come with a more optimistic prognosis. While no cancer is easy, and no cancer has a guaranteed chance of survival, the type of cancer that a person is diagnosed with can mean drastically different things in terms of treatment and burden.

Whether your friend is hospitalized or at home, it is important that you be clear about when you would like to visit. Cancer is unpredictable, and visiting on a bad day can be frustrating and disappointing for both parties. Being able to say no to a visit or cancel at the last minute is important to many cancer patients who could be okay one minute, or in serious pain the next. It allows them to feel safe and heard, and should be a reassurance to both parties that the relationship is secure.

Everyday tasks can become impossibilities for cancer patients, especially if they are hospitalized. Oftentimes, daily chores fall completely by the wayside, and everything from groceries to routine maintenance can fall into a state of disrepair. If your loved one has children, chores, or even laundry, you might let them know that you are willing to help. This also extends to a cancer patient’s family or caregivers, if you are not in the immediate family.

The problem of cancer affects everyone involved in different ways. Relationships change and in most cases, the person will change. If you are going to be a pillar of support, you need to be able to listen, understand, and change with the person you love. Medicine and treatment are only part of the greater battle. A person has to determine to live, and has to continue to live even if they become cancer free. Being there is about more than being physically there; hope and love will outlast any medicine.

Given the prevalence of cancer today, it is more likely than not that you will come to know a colleague, friend, or family member who is diagnosed with cancer. You may want to immediately jump in and do everything you can to help, but cancer is usually scary, confusing, restricting, and awkward all at once. It may leave you feeling at a loss. Here are some things that you can do when supporting a friend or loved one with cancer. Remember, even though knowing what to say is tough, the most important thing you can do is to be there for them as you always were and will continue to be. That will speak volumes.