“3 year old not eating lunch”
3 year old female child refuses to eat lunch at daycare. she will sit there and just watch other children eat. when she gets home she is starved. She is not under weight for her age. She eats normal at breakfast and dinner. Does not get snacks in between meals. Care givers and parents concerned because this has been going on for months. Tried bringing in a lunch from home with things she likes but won't eat it at daycare.
Female | 3 years old
Complaint duration: 6 months
Medications: none
Conditions: none
7 Answers
Many children under the age of 4 develop quirky behaviors or avoidance of certain things, which in adults would constitute a diagnosis of a phobia or OCD. Generally when children are hungry enough they will eat. It might help for a parent to go to preschool/daycare at lunch and eat food from home with her and gradually introduce 1 bite of the school food, and then another.
Hello, there are several reasons why your daughter is having problems eating with others during lunch time. It is different and new: need time to adjustment to new environment, anxiety, etc... however, you can go or somebody she knows during her lunch time and eat with her along with her peers, maybe this will help make her feel comfortable.
As long as she is not losing weight or experiencing delays in growth or development, continue to offer her a variety of foods for lunch without pressuring her to eat. She is at a developmental age where it is natural for her to assert her will and try to control her world, and deciding when she is hungry can safely be delegated to her. Alternatively, she may have had an experience during mealtime at daycare that made her uncomfortable eating there--depending on her ability to verbalize, you might ask some gentle questions to see if she can explain. But overall, if she eats when she is hungry and is receiving a balanced diet otherwise, there's probably nothing to worry about.
It sounds like the child may be experiencing some anxiety or discomfort surrounding lunchtime at daycare. Alternatively, the child may simply be over stimulated and have a loss of appetite due to disinterest in food, and hightened interest in the over stimulation! Here are some steps that caregivers and parents can take to address this issue:
1. Communicate with the daycare: Talk to the daycare staff to see if they have any insights into why the child may be refusing to eat lunch. They may have observed specific behaviors or triggers that can provide valuable information.
2. Create a comfortable environment: Ensure that the child feels comfortable and safe during lunchtime at daycare. This may involve providing familiar foods, seating arrangements, or social support from caregivers or peers.
3. Offer small, frequent meals: Instead of one large lunch, consider offering smaller, more frequent meals or snacks throughout the day. This can help prevent the child from becoming overly hungry and increase their likelihood of eating.
4. Encourage independence: Allow the child to have some control over their meals by offering choices and involving them in meal preparation when possible. This can help empower the child and make mealtime more enjoyable.
5. Seek professional guidance: If the issue persists despite efforts to address it, consider consulting with a pediatrician or child psychologist for further evaluation and guidance. They can help determine if there are any underlying medical or psychological factors contributing to the child's behavior and recommend appropriate interventions.
Overall, it's essential to approach the situation with patience, empathy, and a willingness to collaborate with the child, daycare staff, and other caregivers to find a solution that works best for everyone involved.
1. Communicate with the daycare: Talk to the daycare staff to see if they have any insights into why the child may be refusing to eat lunch. They may have observed specific behaviors or triggers that can provide valuable information.
2. Create a comfortable environment: Ensure that the child feels comfortable and safe during lunchtime at daycare. This may involve providing familiar foods, seating arrangements, or social support from caregivers or peers.
3. Offer small, frequent meals: Instead of one large lunch, consider offering smaller, more frequent meals or snacks throughout the day. This can help prevent the child from becoming overly hungry and increase their likelihood of eating.
4. Encourage independence: Allow the child to have some control over their meals by offering choices and involving them in meal preparation when possible. This can help empower the child and make mealtime more enjoyable.
5. Seek professional guidance: If the issue persists despite efforts to address it, consider consulting with a pediatrician or child psychologist for further evaluation and guidance. They can help determine if there are any underlying medical or psychological factors contributing to the child's behavior and recommend appropriate interventions.
Overall, it's essential to approach the situation with patience, empathy, and a willingness to collaborate with the child, daycare staff, and other caregivers to find a solution that works best for everyone involved.
Hello, I am happy to help but can only advise within the context of a therapeutic relationship.
Thank you for the question, and sorry to hear about the troubles you are experiencing with your 3 year old child. Children can be hesitant to try new foods or exhibit picky eating behaviors either at home or in school. Be patient and encourage positivity when it comes to eating at the daycare. I would even suggest sitting in with your child during lunch at daycare and bringing in her favorite snacks to share with her classmates. Please keep me posted on the progress! Good Luck with everything- Dr. Inoa
I can understand your confusion and concern about the child’s change in behavior regarding eating lunch at daycare. It’s not uncommon for children at her age to go through changes in eating habits and it could be related to many factors such as developmental, environmental, personal/social etc. It won’t be possible for me to offer anything concrete without assessing the child directly and/or speaking with the parents and caregivers at her school. I suggest you start with asking the child in a non-threatening, curious and open fashion. We don’t want her to feel like she is doing something bad that she needs to defend or for her to worry that the grownups are disappointed, upset, frustrated and that it’s her fault. Perhaps something like: “Hey sweetie, let’s spend some time together coloring, how does that sound?” And while engaged in the activity… “How’s school?… Who are your friends?… What do you like to do together?… Do you sit with your friends during lunch time?… What kinds of lunches do your friends bring?… Do they eat anything that looks yummy?… Is lunch time long or very quick?… Do you like lunchtime…?
As you can see, the goal is to get her talking about what’s happening without asking directly. She may not have the language/vocabulary to articulate her feelings (yet) but if we listen to her closely, we can help provide that language to her by using complex reflections, which means, not simply reflecting back her words, but adding what we imagine her experience must feel like based on what she’s describing. So, for example, if she says: “Lunchtime is very fast” a complex reflection might be: “That sounds like it can be frustrating if you feel you would need to eat faster than your tummy wants to. I wonder if it feels better or safer to just not eat at all if lunchtime is too fast?”
Hope this helps as a starting point.
As you can see, the goal is to get her talking about what’s happening without asking directly. She may not have the language/vocabulary to articulate her feelings (yet) but if we listen to her closely, we can help provide that language to her by using complex reflections, which means, not simply reflecting back her words, but adding what we imagine her experience must feel like based on what she’s describing. So, for example, if she says: “Lunchtime is very fast” a complex reflection might be: “That sounds like it can be frustrating if you feel you would need to eat faster than your tummy wants to. I wonder if it feels better or safer to just not eat at all if lunchtime is too fast?”
Hope this helps as a starting point.
