“Does couples counseling work?”

Yes, if you find a good therapist that you fit with, couples counseling can work. But it depends on how committed both people are to making it work and how willing you are to work together on making things better.

Couples counseling can be very effective provided that certain conditions are met by both clients: Both clients have at least some degree of positive motivation to participate clients agree that in order for counseling to be effective, they have to be truthful with one another as well as the therapist. Sometimes I (as the therapist) might see either or both clients for an individual session, but anything disclosed in those sessions that is pertinent to the relationship needs to be disclosed to the other partner. When I work with a couple, I do my best to be tactful and untrusive; I won't "out" either partner if they're withholding a secret, but if they don't disclose it within a reasonably short time, I usually will tell the couple that they're not meeting all the conditions, so I can't continue to work with them but can refer them to someone else, if they like (this happens rarely).+If it becomes clear that either or both partners are really clear that they don't want to continue in the relationship, we can change the focus of treatment to how they can end the relationship as respectfully as possible (and if there are children, their best interests need to be carefully considered). I hope this answers your question.

Couples therapy, like all therapy, works when everyone is invested in the process. I've seen long-term relationships make a full turn-around just by clearing up misunderstandings and learning ways to improve connection and communication.

Couples counseling works in the sense that it facilitates communication between couples. It provides a safe environment to focus on issues that may be difficult to navigate alone. It's possible it can lead to individual therapy to address issues that may have been neglected that are deeply impacting the relationship. I would advise seeing several couples therapists together and then choosing one that feels best for both of you. It can be a process just to find a therapist you both can agree on.