What Being a Mom to an Autistic Child is Really Like
What is it like being an autism mom? The ups, the downs, and the emotional struggle.
No rest. The swing of extreme trauma, panic and fighting emotional and other fires, to laughing uncontrollably, or bursting with pride at an achievement. and back again. daily. no rest. exhausting. rewarding. no rest. Been too tired for every conversation/miscommunication that needs explained/to be understood, getting it wrong if tired and then dealing with screaming, throwing furniture, breaking things, or getting it right and having a quiet thank you from a child who has worked very hard to get that understanding. no rest. Did I mention no rest? extremes of emotions daily, a literal rollercoaster through each day as you navigate the smallest of emotions in an attempt to give a delicate child the best foundations for adulthood.
What fears do you face as you raise your child?
That they disappear into their room never to come out. or worse, that the struggles ahead become too much for them and, in their despair, they self harm/attempt suicide. That they get to a place where they feel the misunderstandings too much to bear, that they feel they can't talk/communicate with anyone. That I die and leave my beautiful boy without that person who will love him ALWAYS, and try to steer him through every difficulty, even when I'm on the floor with exhaustion.
What do you wish other moms knew about what you go through?
The very smallest of things, can be the very biggest of things, and that when you see our families reactions to a situation or comment, please stand back and let us deal with it. We have developed coping strategies, all of us, including the younger sister. Sometime they work, sometimes they don't. no rest, exhaustion, beyond that which I have raising my nuerotypical younger child. small things can be the biggest for us too, so a pat on the shoulder as you pass when we collect our child from school and they're shouting at me badly, let's me know that you aren't judging them as bad, but that you are trying to understand our whole families struggles.
Do you have other autism mommies who have inspired you?
My old boss, now my friend, who was that quiet and calm voice when we were going through diagnosis and beyond. That one who understood how fragile we all were, and recognised when she could push me, and when she couldn't, so that at al times I could perform my best, not just at work, but beyond. She continues to give me insight, positivity, compassion and hope.
