Sarah Greene-Falk

I've seen CBT (cognitive-behavioral therapy) and ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy) be primary treatments. Thoughts lead to feelings and feelings lead to behaviors. However, when feelings are intense, it leads to distorted thoughts that make us spiral and increase anxiety. We need to identify the distorted thoughts, use patterned breathing such as box breathing to do so, and then replace the thoughts with rational thinking. The acceptance one is adding acceptance and commitment. With anxiety, we want to ignore it and hope it goes away, but it's best to accept the situation (even if we don't like it) to assess the situation and face it. Then commit or choose what you want to do and want to think that will lead to better feelings and therefore, behaviors. Hope this helps!

It depends how much you're drinking now.

He is only 3 years old, so we keep that in mind. Be cautious about shaming or making him feel bad about it. Instead, support him and give him the tools to be successful.
Make him feel emotionally and physically safe and that he has control over little things, like what pajamas he wears will be a start. There can be a possible history of sexual abuse, but sometimes it's temporary with big life transitions like this one.

If he sits down to go to the bathroom to urinate, have him close his eyes and feel it coming out. Ask him to hold it mid-stream and then start again. This will help him feel control over his urination and work the muscle. If he's standing you can have him stop mid-stream on and off and even make it a fun game he wants to do, like shooting at Cheerios in the toilet bowl.

Physically, your mind and body will recover over time unless you have other health complications. Emotionally and habitually it takes daily conscious, intentional work. You can do it! It's always ok to ask for help!

I'm not sure what for, but you can have an overall physical with blood work done just to check-in. One doesn't necessarily have anything to do with the other unless there's something else going on.

Accept that you experience anxiety and make a conscious decision to face it each time and not run from it or pretend it doesn't exist. CBT (cognitive-behavioral therapy) and ACT (acceptance & commitment therapy) are usually the main treatment modalities. Patterned breathing such as box breathing and meditation is primary to start controlling your mind and body (heart rate, blood pressure). Med management with a psychiatrist can also be helpful.

It's a big step for the friend to have said something, which means she's asking for help. It also means she trusts your daughter. Encourage the friend to see the counselor at school or tell a teacher she trusts. Counselors, social workers, psychologists, and teachers have all mandated reporters. What that means is that if there is even 'suspicion of abuse', they are required to report it. If she needs your daughter to go with her initially, that's ok.
If the friend does not want to go tell, you can either call yourself (look up child abuse hotline for your state) or go tell any counselor, teacher, etc. Offer to go with a friend as well if needed. It's best if she's present when reporting because if you report then they will go straight to
her anyways to ask questions. You're simply reporting what you were told and any other information that might be helpful.

We can explain to an 8 year old that sometimes as we get older, we have trouble remembering things. For some of us, our brains get sick and one way of it being sick is to forget new memories. Ask your daughter if she remembers her favorite blanket, stuffed animal, etc so she can relate. This is a memory from a long time ago, yet she is only 8. With her grandmother who has however many years, the past 15 years (for example) might be gone, but grandma might be able to remember when she was a little girl. We don't mean to forget people, but when our brains are sick in this way we don't have a way of making it better. Your daughter can still relate to your Mom on first name basis and talk about their favorite things. The hope is this will help your daughter understand within her limited development (being 8), empathize and know it's not intentional, and still have a relationship.

If she is displaying behaviors of concern then counseling may be appropriate.