Watching the Loss of Your Mom to Alzheimer's Disease

How did you first feel when your mother told you that she had Alzheimer's/Dementia?

We "knew" before she did... Mom began using "he" and "she" and other pronouns when talking about others - we didn't realize she couldn't remember their names.  When the "diagnosis" was made, she was so worried that no one would take care of her.  We promised we would.

This disease takes away a lot. What do you miss the most about your mom?

I miss getting to know her as an adult.  I was born when she was 43, and she was fully "present" when I married, but by the time we had our firstborn, about 4 years later, she was already slipping away.  By the time we had our daughter, mom was fighting with her over the toys.

What sacrifices have you made to make sure that your mom has the best possible care?

Florence (I began calling her by her given name, since she was no longer my mom) and my dad lived with us for about six years - and I was primary caregiver for them plus my own three children (the last two were born while they lived with us).  As her condition worsened, we had to place her in a care facility.  That was the hardest decision we had to make - I felt like I had failed her - but, I was no longer able to care for her and my young family.

Do you have any pieces of advice for new caregivers with a mom who has Alzheimer's?

Take care of yourself or you can't care for others!  Also, don't "correct" your mom - it won't make a difference in the long run, and will frustrate her!  Also, look for the humor in life - and laugh with her, (and sometimes laugh about her - it's definitely better than crying!)