Fibromyalgia

I was diagnosed back in 2000 for Fibromyalgia. I was 40 years old. I started out with muscle pain in my thighs and it gradually spread everywhere else except my lower legs and lower arms. I was diagnosed with Arthritis back in my early 30's in my hands and knees. Everything else I have, I have spent a lot of money on trying to find out why I'm always exhausted, why I had chest pains, low libido, and what do I do to fix it. There was steroid shots in my shoulder. Physical therapy which made it hurt more, I would still push through work and go home in a lot of pain. There were different pills that didn't work. After work I would sometimes have to pick my legs up by my hands to get them in the car or to get up the steps to my porch. Once in the door I would sit down with pillows under my knees until they stopped hurting enough to cook dinner. I tried soaking in Epson Salt and it didn't help. Heat pads felt really good on my thighs. I worked at a spa until I quit a few weeks ago because I just couldn't do it anymore. I had cut my hours to two days a week about 11 months before I quit. Something about even though they know you have medical issues but not considered disabled yet, I worked under a lot of stress, took care of my guest, stocking things, repetitive work, cleaning up after guests, stooping, pushing heavy carts and heavy doors. Most days by myself. I was constantly standing and walking. Even though I was allowed to sit, there was never time. Barely time to get a15minute lunch. I am a very dependable person and if I seen something that needed done, I did it.

Couldn't depend on anybody else. My massage therapist friends would give me a massage sometimes and I would almost come off the table. It hurt! I knew I'd feel better then normal for at least a week though. The bad part is... health insurance won't pay for massages, acupuncture, medical marijuana. They pay for medicine that could kill you, affect other organs so then you have to take meds for those. They pay for meds that can get you hooked. I see my mother in law taking at least 8 pills. My husband takes a lot of different pills. I don't want that. I have tried twice to get disability. Their answer is: I am not walking with a cane. I am still able to dress myself (even if I lean on things or lift my legs with my hands to get in pants legs.) I don't ask for assistance to do things. My answer to them is, I can't depend on any help when I have a spouse who doesn't understand how bad I hurt. I hurt bad enough I can't work like I have in the past. I have to pick and choose what needs the most attention when house cleaning and do it first. The rest can wait. My meds affect me so I want to sleep, not supposed to drive. I have to be able to take care of me so I can have some kind of life without wearing out my joints more and feeling like I've lost my mind. I have to get plenty of rest. I have worked with job rehab for over five years and some of them would say don't tell them you have medical issues. That is why I went to them, To find a job that would work with me and my medical issues. Not lie, get the job, and then, surprise! I take a lot of pride on being dependable. It doesn't help a business if you are gone so much they are short help. They wouldn't have hired me if they didn't need somebody. It is difficult to work and have all of these issues. I have things that just pop up and it causes issues like I can't lift things, or I can't walk because I am in so much pain. On top of taking care of what I can at home, I cook for my mother in law because she has Alzheimer and I do have grandchildren. It is hard enough just doing what I do now.